To be honest, the segment on Captain Hunter’s Podcast bothered me. I thought we were trying to get to a bottom-line, a resolution to the struggle of Black relationships. Was I prepared? Yes, for my appearance. But knowing actually where the conversation would go. There were no actual questions. I guess our prospective were sufficient enough. See, there was a lot I did not take into account.
1.) Age group: I will say in this segment I was not mature enough relationship wise. Nor did I have enough experience.
2.) Maturity: Everyone else was sound in their positions and perspective.
3.) Growth and Development: Except me, the panel of each person had over 35 years of relationship experience, with at least 15 years as an adult.
(note: That doesn’t no mean someone else my age could not do better. This is my burden).
That does not mean our experience, maturity and growth should differ much. Is there really a difference? Experts can give a better easement- in phycology or cancelling. -There is no excuse to why I failed to deliver exactually what I meant. Nevertheless, there were multiple reasons why I am confused-or, as someone stated ‘As if I had been hurt before’. Better words, Damaged! I could have vented. Not towards the person per-say. But because of the statement. Isn’t this the reason of the conversation? Aren’t this why BLACK relationships being in such shambles? Maybe that’s what threw me over the edge. When Dr. B stated ‘it deeper than communication. I concur cold heartily. I was asking myself, why are people agreeing with some of what I am saying but failed to stand on it? Black Men? What I mean is when it comes to these subject men always lose. My experience has taught me that our mothers secrete is meticulous, strategic and in harmony. Woman togetherness. Every man has a dispute but woman has their one for all argument, Cheaters!
(note: After talking to a fellow Podcaster- and friends, my assumption are as stated. Assumptions. Just as men, woman have concerns as well).
Does this on particular argument put woman on a pedal stole? Allow me to make sense. This is what woman deal with daily. Dead beat dads, dead beat children’s father, multiple different children mothers. Jail birds and no jobs. Living with parents-or, with another woman. People, there’s so much more. Big ups to our Black woman-cause if it was me. I tell you… If you don’t have a high school or G.E.D and more than one kid, I’m sorry (though my fiancé has 5 of her own). That’s the difference between husband (man) and a boyfriend (boy). Ignorance isn’t hard to pin point. I have to have standards and commonsense as well. I wouldn’t assume her as a hoe. It would be more so, you were ignorant enough to fall for the hood trap more than once, period. Man and woman.
As a Black man, the standards set forth by our woman are pretty basic- in abroad and general conversations. In their private abodes of Ladies togetherness. It’s a little fabricated and extravagant. What bewilders me is a man will speak on this to his homeboys. But in a circle of political correction will brag on what a man is supposed to do (our Steve Harveys); knowing damn well Black Western masculinity is given by our woman. Woman always had the choice of given man that title (yeah-yeah, some have earned the title. But a woman can tarnish it as quickly). But then, who are man we to give woman any kind of sobriquet? We can speak on how our ancestors display what we assume as love, family and relationships. Then we can speak on our Western perspective. Bottom line, our concepts are selfish, one sided most of the time and unnatural (Men and Woman), unbalanced, to needy and fucked up! I hurt you. You hurt me. Know…, let’s hurt someone else.
Black Love ages 21-40
Now there may be some back lashes between ages 30-40. Why, because there is a large percentage of Black men in disbelief. To my point. A lot of Black men don’t believe nothing a lot of woman says (ladies. As you see I didn’t say all). Woman say it themselves. Woman will tell everything her girlfriend man does. But want to play loyal when they are in the wrong. Complaining about cheating than want to steal one another man. To Black Men, Black Woman ae the biggest contradictors in this matter. Like for instance. Why are the Men called boys and are boys are becoming girls? How can a woman between the ages of 35-60 can date a 21-30 young man? But when a 40-year-old man dates 21-26, he a pervert? And as for perverts… As recalled, the problems start at home. Single parent homes(mothers) with woman pride, misguidance and vehement hate for thier prior spouse. Black men are ignorant to the cries because we are constantly prosecuted by criminals.
Black Families 80’s-2000’s
There’s a big percentage of elders from the 40’s through the 80’s are in retirement homes, deceased or flat out fed-up with the following generations. Though elders still relay knowledge, they will not directly work with us. When it comes to old vs young. The old school believe in their ways-which was better than now-a-days. So, lets stick to our era.
50’s – 80’s
A lot of the parents were having children while children of the 80’s. These now adults want to be married, men and women. All whom don’t trust one another because of previous entanglements (word to Mrs. Picket-Smith).
(note: Ladies, we do know about your pain. You are our mothers, our sisters and daughters. We also know that our communities are not products of rape abuse birth-especially with our abortion rate. And If so, we don’t).
Cynical behavior like ‘you a cheater! No, you’re a cheater! The generations of promiscuous relationships. Thus, producing new generations of misguided, miseducated and lustful children, now pointing fingers. Our sources of continuous miseducated rebels. Most important, failing to further the dignity of our future for Black Families.
This to me is a subject that has no bottom-line. As long as we are humans, this will happen. Men lie. Woman lies. And those in between. So, I will let the expert solve this. But what I will say is, it’s all our choice. It is our choice to cheat. Our choice to be battered. Our choice to be abused. It’s all our choice! Is it right? No! We just have to want more for ourselves without being egotistic….